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RAF Jokes

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Squawks are problems noted on paper by RAF pilots and left for maintenance crews who fill in the replies. Here are some examples: (P) = Problem (S) = Solution

  • (P) Left inside tyre almost needs replacement
  • (S) Almost replaced left inside tyre
  • (P) Test flight okay except Autoland very rough
  • (S) Autoland not fitted on this aircraft

 

  • (P) No 2 Propeller seeping hydraulic fluid
  • (S) No 2 Propeller seepage normal. Nos 1, 3 and 4 lack normal seepage

  • (P) Something loose in cockpit
  • (S) Something tightened in cockpit

  • (P) Evidence of hydraulic fluid leak on main right landing gear
  • (S) Removed evidence of hydraulic fluid leak on main right landing gear

  • (P) DME Volume unbelievably loud
  • (S) DME Volume set to more believable level

  • (P) Dead insects on windshield
  • (S) Live insects on order
  • (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
  • (S) Unable to reproduce problem on ground
  • (P) IFF inoperative
  • (S) IFF always inoperative when set to OFF mode
  • (P) Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick
  • (S) That is what they are supposed to do
  • (P) No 3 engine missing
  • (S) No 3 engine found after brief search of right wing
  • (P) Aircraft handles funny
  • (S) Aircraft told to be serious
  • (P) Target radar hums
  • (S) Target radar reprogrammed with the right words

 

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